Orgasmic History Starting With Freud

First, let's review the modern history of orgasm. Whether you know it or not, you've undoubtedly been conditioned by some of these myths and you're certainly affected by these physiological facts.

We bet you know lots about Sigmund Freud who developed psychoanalysis in Vienna before the second world war. Freud believed all our neuroses stem from sex.

Whether you agree or not, at least he brought to the public's attention that the mind is the most powerful sex organ. When it blocks pleasure, sex isn't anywhere near as good as the original designer intended.

Freud believed that women could experience orgasm from clio or yoni stimulation. Unfortunately, he had to go further and say that vaginal orgasms were better, in that they represented the orgasm of the emotionally mature woman. Therefore, clitoral orgasms were immature and somehow lesser.

Do you feel less mature when you have great pleasure from clio stimulation? We hope not.

Many studies we've seen substantiate that 75% women don't experience vaginal orgasm. Was Freud telling the vast majority of women that they should fell less worthy because their peaks of clio pleasure were second class? Or did he intend that the pleasure they felt from other kinds of stimulation wasn't good enough?

Of course, in Tantra we believe all pleasure is a divine gift. Our personal and professional opinion is that clio and internal G-Spot orgasms are simply different, not better or less evolved.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist or member of the upper class to create and receive any kind of pleasure. Whatever feels good is good in our mind. We just think by studying and practicing we can learn to have more and more of that which transforms our life.

How to Satisfy a Woman in Bed

Remember the old joke: "how do you make a woman have an orgasm?" Answer: "who cares?" Well it's just that: a joke. If you value having sex, you'd better know how to make a woman have an orgasm, otherwise you'll be fondling your own foreskin for the rest of your life. If you can't satisfy a woman in bed, it's only a matter of time before you overhear her laughing about your sexual performance with her friends and she starts looking elsewhere for satisfaction.

Sexually satisfying a woman starts well before you get near the bedroom. In order to satisfy a woman, you need to begin by romancing and seducing her hours, days, or perhaps even weeks prior to sex. You can't just grab her from the kitchen, order her on to the bed, climb on top of her and shout 'Brace yourself' and expect her to be satisfied. You need to think Don Juan; think romance; think seduction. Sure it requires extra effort on your part, but the extra effort will supply you with awesome sexual experiences. When you satisfy a woman in the bedroom, she is much more affectionate, loyal, and loving outside of the bedroom. A satisfied woman makes a satisfied man. Here's an idea to get you started.

1. Anticipation

There's something about anticipation that drives a woman wild. They love this sort of teasing.

Try this. Next time your woman comes home from work, leave a note on the door. In the note, tell her you've been thinking of her all day. Tell her that you think she is the sexiest and most beautiful woman in the world. Tell her that you appreciate how hard she works, and that tonight is all about her just relaxing. Tell her a surprise is waiting for her upstairs. (By the way, if you have kids, drop them off at your parent's house before she gets home. Or if you've been letting your college buddy sleep on your couch because his wife kicked him out of his house last month, kick him out before your wife comes home.)

When she walks through the front door after reading the note, she hears soft music playing. She sees candlelight throughout the clean house. Yes, I snuck in 'clean house' on you. As crazy as it sounds to men, a clean house can actually prepares a woman for romance. Most women attach their self-esteem to how they take care of their home. You've also just relieved much of her stress and given her reason to relax. She no longer has to worry about cleaning the house later, in addition to all of the other things on her plate.

She walks further in to the house and smells the perfumed aroma from the candles. (Notice how you're appealing to all of her senses: kinetically from reading the note; visually from seeing the candles and the clean house; aromatically from smelling the candles). She makes her way to the bedroom where she finds you sitting in a chair reading. Nearby, there's a small table with two place settings. You greet her with a warm hug and gentle kiss, and welcome her home. You are wearing nice clothes, are freshly shaved, have your hair combed, and are wearing her favorite cologne. The table is elegantly displayed with a white table cloth, nice dishes, and a bottle of wine. You lift up the lids on the plates to reveal her favorite meal. She's wondering what in the world has come over you. You should stand close to her at this point because she's liable to faint. After all, prior to tonight, your idea of romance was taking her deer hunting on your honeymoon.

You invite her to sit down by pulling out her chair and helping her in to her seat. You spend the next hour or so reminiscing about the day you met, the trips you shared, some of your memorably love-making experiences, and how you love her more today than the day you met.

After dinner, you walk her in to the bathroom where she sees a hot bubble bath, surrounded by candles. There is a glass of wine, and a romantic novel sitting next to the tub, along with a fluffy towel and her bath robe. Soft music is playing in the background.

She may try to get you to join her in the tub, but you politely refuse. You tell her you want her to just relax, and that you have some reading to do. You give the impression that you are not interested in sex, you just want her to have some time relaxing by herself. While she is in the bath, you refill her wine. You tell her that after her bath, you have another surprise for her. While she is relaxing in her hot bath, sipping her wine, she'll be wondering what the surprise could possibly be.

While she is in the tub, you clean up all of the dishes and the kitchen. Then you recline in the bedroom, reading a book while she soaks in the tub.

When she gets out of the tub, you tell her to go lay down on her stomach on the bed. The bedroom is dim with candlelight and romantic music is playing in the background. You very slowly and gently start massaging her. You start with her feet and you gradually work your way up her body. You resist the temptation to touch her sexually at this point, so you carefully avoid her butt and her breasts. Before long, after several more minutes of massing and caressing her, she will likely try and rip your clothes off to have you.

Congratulations, you're well on your way to completely satisfying your woman. Sure, this is a lot of trouble to go through for a night of sex. But it's not just one night. You'll be building an intimacy with her that will translate in to many nights of incredible sex. She'll be talking about this night for days to come. She'll be thinking about it and telling all of her friends about it. She'll be the envy of every woman she knows. How do you think that's going to make her feel.

Here's another way to look at this from a man's perspective. Most of us have got where we are by hard work. We believe that if we work hard, and smart, we will enjoy success. We also believe hard work builds character. We preach about it to our sons. We also believe that when we exercise, there's no gain without some pain. We believe in order to show muscular gains, we need to put in the hard work necessary to make those gains.

It's the same thing with sex. If we don't put in the work, we don't get the payoff. In order to get great sexual gains in our lives, you need to work hard at it. It's not always going to be fun to do that work, but the payoff is going to be a great sexual life.

This is just one approach to building anticipation in the mind of your woman. You can get the same result many different ways. Use your imagination.

The Body - Somatic Body Psychotherapy and Sexual Health

As a practicing sexual, relationship and marital therapist for over two decades, I have begun to formulate the following concepts about sexuality and sexual functioning:

Our sexuality it an intrinsic part of our self and our life, not separate from who we are as a man or woman, young or old, attractive or unattractive, healthy or unhealthy.

Our sexual response is a natural bodily function involving a complex feedback loop with the brain, spinal cord, neuromuscular system and pituitary gland. It is designed to function as intended unless interfered with in some way.

Our mind is our major sexual organ with its propensity toward imagination and visualization, anticipation of the future and remembrance of the past as well as its ability to sense and interpret all internal and external stimulation.

The second major sexual organ is our skin along with all of our senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) but especially our sense of touch.

Healthy sexual functioning involves adequate neural signals from the central nervous system and an optimum balance within the autonomic nervous system, fluctuating between the stress response (activation of the sympathetic nervous system) and the relaxation response (activation of the parasympathetic nervous system).

Sexual arousal (vaginal lubrication and penile erection) is a neuro-vascular event mediated by the autonomic nervous system. Adequate central nervous system stimulation triggers the male erection reflex at spinal cord segments S2, S3, and S4. Adequate parasympathetic stimulation triggers the relaxation of smooth muscles and blood flow within the penis as well as female vaginal tissue engorgement and lubrication.

Orgasm and ejaculation are neuromuscular events. They require adequate central nervous system stimulation to trigger the male ejaculation reflex at multiple spinal cord levels, receptors in the skin of the penis, firing of the pudendal nerve causing compression of the penile urethra and rhythmic smooth muscle contractions and vascular constriction as well as female orgasmic response, a similar but more diffuse response that may be mediated by the vagus nerve.

Sexual desire is a mental-emotional-sensational event which may operate separately from our natural sexual functioning. In other words, our body may be able to perform sexually without our feeling desire or we may feel sexual desire without becoming physically aroused.

As a practicing body psychotherapist, focused on relationship, sexual and body image issues, I have discovered that:

Our body is a hologram, an intricate web of local and distant interconnections.

Our body is composed of energetic, fluid, electrical and chemical responses, all influenced and controlled by our mind.

Our body doesn't lie. It tells the truth if we pay attention and listen.

Bodily symptoms are often metaphors for our mental state, our beliefs or some other aspect of our life needing attention.

Memories and emotions, stored within our bodily tissues, can be evoked through any of our senses, but are often more easily accessed through touch.

Touch is a powerful way to become aware of what our body is doing.

Awareness is the first step on the way to change.

Change is scary. It requires stepping out into the unfamiliar, facing confusion, fear of annihilation, fear of losing control of one s life, and fear of total abandonment.

Release of bodily tension patterns, verbal expression of fears, desires and emotional responses in the presence of a skilled and caring therapist can facilitate change and harness integration of the changes within a newly constructed sense of self.

As a somatic body psychotherapist, I am uniquely trained to facilitate awareness, change and integration within the body-mind system of our clients. How does this relate to sexuality and sexual functioning? As I stated at the very beginning of this article,

Our sexuality is an intrinsic part of our self and our life, not separate from who we are.

If you understand and believe this as a truism, then you can assist any client who presents with a sexual issue, concern or complaint in the same way that you would deal with any other life issue. Listen, pay attention to the client s words and body posturing, observe their breathing and habitual movement patterns, encourage them to describe the verbal and nonverbal communications within their most intimate relationships, explore with them their unique beliefs, fantasies, behaviors and sexual response style. Then assist the client to become aware of bodily response patterns, metaphors and meanings, through your own specific method of body psychotherapy. If you discover you are dealing with some countertransference issues or unresolved sexual concerns of your own, then seek out supervision from a qualified body psychotherapist or nationally/board certified sex therapist.

Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

Throughout history, there has always been sex. Moreover, there has been sexual education. Though it seems to me it is completely ineffective. I find that I am not alone, most people of sexual age have been given little education on what to expect in an actual sexual encounter. What is taught mainly relates to menstrual cycles, as well as general male and female anatomy, but it tends to stop there. This is likely due to the constant stigma connected to adults teaching young men and women that sex can and should be a pleasurable experience for both parties.

As a young boy, a close friend crudely introduced me to masturbation on my front lawn. He ran the garden hose between his legs and stroked it in a gesture that indicated the concept of masturbation along with various moans and groans. It seemed he knew what he was doing. So being young and easily influenced, when it was time to go inside I went directly to the bathroom to try this process. Wow, it worked I remember thinking to myself. The first orgasm for me was around 11 or 12 years old, and there was no explanation need. I followed the rather cryptic lead my trusted friend had demonstrated on the front lawn. Before ejaculating I felt pressure building in my genital area, I felt like I had to pee, but I trusted my friend knew something that I did not, so I continued and did climax.

Women in contrast are never, ever, given even the smallest hint of what makes them have a pleasurable orgasm. It is my experience women are shunned from sexual conversation or interaction as often as possible from early childhood. There is no wonder emotional scars develop due to the behavior of our society. We tend to create such taboo associated to female sexuality that it actually has a voodoo effect on women. Voodoo only works if it is believable to the recipient. Our society has done exactly that, causing woman to expect little pleasure from sexual relation. As I see it, American scientists and doctors as well as parents are the cause of this problem. If there is no empirical proof beyond personal experience of our scientific community they discounts any findings. We all know that scientists, doctors and parents know everything. (LOL)

My mission is to put the confusion to rest. Most if not all women can ejaculate, barring medical or physical problems. There is and always has been evidence on Female Ejaculation. Dating back to ancient Hindu Tantra teachings, they called it clan fluid (kuladravya) or clan nectar (kulamrita) translating to "Nectar of the Goddess" they believed it to be flowing naturally from the woman's womb. Lacking any actual data to support this belief, the simple fact that it occurred was enough to enlighten their society.

Over the past 4 years I have been on a mission to uncover as much factual information on the subject of female ejaculation as I could. My first encounter with a woman ejaculating, was about 20 years ago, I am 41 now. Something happened during cunnilingus (oral sex) on my girlfriend of 2 years that sort of shocked me. I could feel a gush of fluid with my fingers inside her. I truly had no idea what it was. Since that time I have longed to repeat the situation. For the past 3 years I have been able to make any willing woman ejaculate and have a true climax. With women so often playing a role in the bedroom it is very difficult for anyone to really know what is going on inside their heads or their vaginas.

Being an extremely sexual person I like many other men became frustrated searching for this all illusive area called the G-Spot (Coined in 1981 by Beverley Whipple honoring Ernest Grafenberg, M.D.). In recent years after much research I believe I have it figured out. There is no G-spot, it is in fact an area. The original citation by Grafenberg defines an area that is on the anterior (top) wall of the vaginal canal. Interpretations by readers of those original citations determined that there was a single spot described to be about the size of dime that needed stimulation to bring out a vaginal orgasm.

This for me was a large part of the problem. While exploring the interior of the vagina I would try to find this spot. I failed. Since then I have truly discovered the area. The only clear comparison I am able to make is that the area inside the vagina called the G-spot which is really a line, equivalent to the base of the male penis. This area can vary in size, both in length and diameter from woman to woman. As Grafenberg determined, it is the area that encompasses the length of the urethra within the vagina. It is not a spot at all, nor did Grafenberg describe it as one.

To understand the mechanisms of female ejaculation you must first have a clear picture in your head of what men and women have in common and what it takes for the common male to ejaculate. When we are conceived we all start out undifferentiated as to sex. Therefore, it is only common sense that we have the same parts. Male testicles descend, my conclusion is they are the organs that would have been ovaries without the Y chromosome. The clitoral hood (prepuce) becomes foreskin of the penis. The labia majora becomes the scrotum, while the labia minora is the actual skin that envelopes the urethra and erectile tissue and becomes the outside skin of the penis.

It seems very simple when spelled out in this manner but science makes no such correlation. Now to the actual fluids: Male ejaculate is a combination of things, prostate fluid, produced in the prostate gland, as well as sperm produced in the testis. This is combined prior to ejaculation. For women there is no sperm, nor is there any need for the fluid to be thick and goopy protecting the sperm within. In women the fluid is exclusively produced by the female prostate (or para-urethral sponge) it is equivalent to sweat, produced by the lymphatic systems of the body, not the urinary system. Many will claim that it is urine, but test on the fluid show there is little comparison. The fluid is much more like that of the male prostate gland. Containing the same prostate specific antigens as well as a very high concentration of sugars, which neither are present in urine.

Now most all of us realize that there is little feeling on almost 3/4 of the male penis. The entire head of the penis is super sensitive, equal to the clitoris. This provides a great ability to create sexual stimulation there for both men and women. However, very few men will ejaculate by only giving attention to the head of his penis, though it is not impossible. They will have a sexual climax (peak of the hill), but rarely fully ejaculate (top of the mountain). This is what I believe most non-vaginal orgasms are to women. There is a climax, but only to a small degree of what could be. The top and sides of the penis have little sensation. The real area needing attention is the base of the penis where the urethra is clearly visible. The entire shaft of the penis needs consistent pressure and stimulation in order to cause full ejaculation. If you were to imagine an erect penis within an oversized cylinder of equal length and you only had 2 or 3 fingers to access this area around the urethra what would you need to do to cause stimulation and ejaculation. This is how you need to picture, in your head, what is necessary for a woman to ejaculate.

There is a distinctive area just inside the vagina on the upper wall running from the very end of the urethra and just behind the clitoris that is the "E-spot, the ejaculation spot". This area runs on both sides and behind the woman's urethra on the abdomen side. It varies in length and diameter from person to person, just as the penis comes in all shapes and sizes. There has been a widespread idea that a "come here" motion with the fingers will bring an ejaculation orgasm for a woman. This is only partly true. The real situation is that you need to have the smooth area between the first two segments of your finger apply pressure while sliding on this area. It is much more like a Disc Jockey when they slide a record back and forth. Now what happened to the erectile tissue, ah its in there! If you are using the correct motion and pressure you will feel very specific changes to the interior of the vaginal canal.

Upon entry you will feel an area (mound) of ribbed tissue bulging from the top of the vaginal canal, it feels sort of like our throat. After a small amount of time in an excited state there will be changes. First there will be a complete smoothness and opening up of the entire inside of the vagina. Then there will be a tremendous build up of pressure. It will become difficult to keep your fingers inside, but you must. This is the point that 90% of all women stop you or quickly change positions to stop the feeling of having to pee. The only way past this part is trust. As I trusted my friend knew more than I did at age 11, you must trust your partner. There is no way past it without trust and being comfortable enough with your partner. You are both choosing to venture into unknown areas of sexual relations. If you are not comfortable enough with each other there is no way to achieve ejaculation. Men unlike women don't care, they just want to come. For women sexual relations are so emotional that there must be comfort and relaxation in order for ejaculation to occur.

Pick an Orgasm, Any Orgasm

Male orgasm, as in cards, never lets you know what hand you'll be dealt next. "It's all in the cards," as they say, "until you lay down." You know what I'm talking about. You stop panting after an orgasm, catch your breath a little bit, and your lover says, "Wow! What was that all about?"

"Geez, I don't know." You shake it off and try to remember before your orgasm. "It just came out of nowhere! The ends of my fingers are still tingling. It seemed like it would never end." You shudder a little. "I'm still not sure it has, yet."

There are face cards and there are numbered cards. Some male orgasms, I'd say qualify as a face card. The colors and design really stand out and you tend to put those guy sexual sensations in a category of their own.

As a writer, a student of male sexuality and an ordinary guy, I resist putting names and labels on something as dynamic, mysterious and fantastic as a guy's orgasm. But let's face it, our orgasms come in a variety pack and we can learn a lot about ourselves, our love making and our sexual growth if we just give a tad bid more attention to male sexual experience rather than "just getting one off."

The Male Full Body Orgasm

This is the big kahuna of a guy orgasm. The male full body orgasm is most likely the model the dude above experienced. This is the kind you fall into rather than pump up to. She's probably already come and you are enjoying the long ride of kissing, caressing and deep, slow thrusting that lasts long. You're very relaxed, but incredibly aroused and surprisingly able to delay ejaculation. This is because you held back at the beginning of intercourse and your stimulation and focus wasn't only on your penis. It was spread out. Now, it seems you can make love forever. And, you probably can.

This orgasm has an epicenter not necessary in your groin. It could be anywhere -- your belly, your butt, your thighs. You won't know till it comes. When the full body orgasm comes, it doesn't seem to start with ejaculation, but a deep inner moan that increases in amplitude, and rolls like an earthquake reaching out to your extremities. It can begin to subside a bit, but don't stop because there's always more with this kind.

Male G-Spot Orgasm

The male G-spot orgasm is sometimes referred to as a prostate orgasm because your male G-spot is found in your prostate gland. If you slip a lubed finger into your rectum. You can feel the prostate as well as it's wowing sensation. It's just an inch or two in toward your front. Lots of guys use anal toys both in lovemaking and male masturbation to experience a male G-spot orgasm.

A male G-spot orgasm is spicy but deep like a rich red wine. For women, sexual experience is mostly inside, and we think of guy sex experience as only outside. With a G-spot orgasm, you experience that inside sensation that's not entirely gained through penis stimulation. A nice benny to the G-spot orgasm is that they can easily be multiples which come and go like waves on a seashore.

Ejaculatory Orgasm

An ejaculatory orgasm is reliable. Men can summon up an ejaculatory orgasm from a few seconds to a matter of a few minutes. It's the kind of orgasm that emanates either only from your penis or at most from your groin and not much beyond. Most of the pleasure you enjoy from an ejaculatory orgasm is from the gushing sensation you feel from the semen expelling from your penis. And the more the better.

Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm

Why would I not want to ejaculate? Because a non-ejaculatory orgasm allows you the privilege to orgasm, make love, masturbate or whatever else you like to do for as long as you want. Most guys experience a time period after ejaculation during which they really don't feel much like sex. If you delay your ejaculation till later or till tomorrow, you enjoy non-ejaculatory orgasm.

The longer you make love, spread your focus, and relax your muscles, your orgasmic response will build. First you feel the fluttering in your belly or groin as you dangle on the edge of ejaculation, but you ease off and delay it, the sensations come more frequently and with greater intensity till you can say these are definitely orgasms -- less intense, but orgasms. You play on the edge like a hawk on the wind till you decide you've had enough.

Contemplative Orgasm

You find yourself lost in orgasm in a place much bigger than you are. Contemplative orgasm is spiritual. You can't define it so much by how it feels as you define it by where your focus is in the experience. If your focus is on something larger than a physical experience, and your desire to connect with someone outside of yourself, you're edging into contemplative orgasm territory. Sadly, many of us bluntly divide our spiritual lives from sexual lives, but when you allow God to be present in your sexuality, you know that orgasm is undoubtedly spiritual.

Male Multiple Orgasm

Male multiple orgasms present themselves in almost all of the above experiences except possibly the ejaculatory orgasm. It's like going to the dance. If you're going to dance all the dances, then you'll want to stay all night. Multiple orgasm isn't likely to happen for you if you quit too soon. You've got to give it time, focus and allow yourself to fall into it. Like the dance, each one gets more fun.

Sex Games - The Copy Cat

In the "Copy Cat" sex game we pay attention to what our partner is doing and then we mirror this. When she kisses you softly, you kiss her softly. When he holds you tight, you hold him tight.
There is a certain "Law of Sex", which states that we always make love to someone in the way we would like this someone to make love to us. With this game you actively use this law to give your partner a very special experience. This is how it is done:

1. This is a game in which you don't discuss with your partner what you are doing. This is not dishonest, because you do it for mutual pleasure, and telling what you do would only make her self-conscious, and cause her to behave differently.

2. Pay attention to every detail, and mirror it back to her. For example:

-If she holds you by putting her hands on your lower back, you also put your hands on her lower back.
-If she moves slowly and deliberately, you also slow down and do the same.
-When she kisses, and sticks her tongue deep in your mouth, you stick out your tongue too.
-When she makes love to you roughly, you don't touch her gently, but just as rough.
-When she is quiet, you are quiet, and when she begins to moan, you also become vocal.
-When she talks dirty to you, talk back dirty.

3. Do not exaggerate the first time you do this, just pick out some details and mirror them back to her. If you would mirror everything back, and you are a good actor, she might sense what you are doing, and it would be less natural. Slowly and smoothly introduce the "Copy Cat" sex game into your bedroom.

4. In long-term relationships we often play this game sub-consciously, and get used to how our partner wants to enjoy her sex. But bringing this game to a conscious level speeds up this process. By the way, if she ever notices what you do, simply admit what you are doing; explain what you do and that you do it for your mutual pleasure.

Getting in the habit of playing the "Copy Cat" game will help you get to know your partner much better sexually. When you pay attention to details, you can "play her like a violin" and make some good music together...

Guys, How Can You Tell If She is Ready For Sex - The First Time

Guys how many times have you found yourself in the following situation:

You have a new female friend who seems to be interested in you. You've gone out a few times, really enjoy each other's company and seem to have a certain chemistry together. Now you are ready to take things to the next level physically, but you are afraid to read her wrong and scare her off.

By now she has either considered you as a possible sex partner or she has already completely ruled you out. You must say and do the right things to persuade her to your point of view without "creeping her out" or making yourself look stupid.
Is she really ready to go further or is it all in your head? Pay attention to the following clues:
Does she hold intense eye contact with you or "gaze into your eyes"?
Does she smile and laugh often in response to the things you say (especially if you didn't mean it to be funny)?
Does she caress herself or run her fingers through her hair while she's talking to you?
Does she start tapping, touching, caressing or leaning on you?
Does she start talking about her sexual interests or preferences, with out any prompting from you?

In my opinion, the last sign is the most important. Most women are used to being constantly invited or approached by men about sex. Rejecting those whom she is not interested in can range from uncomfortable to annoying to downright traumatic. So if she brings up the topic of sex in your conversations, on her own, no matter how casual or nonchalantly, that is an almost certain sign that she is seriously considering you as a future partner (but you can still mess it up at any time, so always keep your cool).

Guys, the most important thing I can tell you about women is...pay attention. Women are very fluid and intuitive creatures and so are the men who have the most success with women. If you do not pay attention you will either miss the cues she's giving you to move forward or misread the cues she's giving you to back off.

Good Luck!

Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Starting With F

Do you want to improve your sex life? It seems that most people do, whether they are heterosexuals, homosexuals, or somewhere in between. If you are like most of us, you want more sex and you want better sex, and you want it now. Don't believe that there is a magic pick-up line, pill, potion, or perfume that will make it happen immediately, if not sooner. But we do believe that our articles can make a major difference in your sex life, and even in your love life, if that's what you want. Why not give them a try?

We have so many suggestions for improving your sex life that we are putting together an alphabetical list of what to do. Just so you don't miss out, we are also putting together an alphabetical list of what not to do. Don't waste all your time, effort, perhaps money, and perhaps love by putting your foot in your mouth when what you really want; we all know what you really want. This article focuses on fantasy, feeling, and footsie.

F is for fantasy. Fantasies are great in the bedroom or elsewhere as long as they are within bounds (no rough stuff, no degradation, I think you get the idea) and as long as you don't let them take over. It may be true that reality bites, but we do have to live with it. More or less. If you are up to it, trade fantasies with your partner or partners. But you really should be careful. Some people will use a partner's fantasies against him or her. This could be as simple as constantly repeating, "So you don't think I'm as attractive as Cindy Crawford," or "I know you wouldn't tell Billy-Boy no if he wanted that." Billy-Boy could be Clinton, Gates, or that twenty-two year-old who just moved in the apartment across the hall. Don't let fantasies take over. And why not give your partner as much as you would give Billy-Boy?

F is for feeling. Feelings... Feelings. When you are feeling it's great if you are surrounded by feelings. Share you feelings and I don't just mean the jingling and jangling of your favorite nerve endings. Let your partner know that you feel for him or her across the room, and across the continent. You may even share feelings about a work of art (not necessarily nudes) or a tasty stir-fry. If you really feel for each other, that may enhance your sexual feelings as well.

F is for footsie. Playing footsie is fun. You can always pretend it was an accident if the response is more or less "Get your stinking feet off of me before I call the cops." On the other hand an energetic yet sensual reply is almost a promise of things to come. Unless the object of your affectionate toes is a foot fetishist. Then you may be in trouble. Let's hope that he or she washes his feet, preferably with an anti-fungal disinfectant. By the way, with the exception of Immelda Marcos who was more of a shoe fetishist, have you ever heard of a female foot fetishist? But there are women who like to play footsie and I don't blame them.

How to Find the Female G-Spot - Does the G Spot Exist?

I was talking to a male friend the other day and he told me that the g-spot does not exist. I found it hard not to laugh as I had the night before, taken my lover into intense g-spot orgasms for at least 40 minutes.

In my experience with many women, g-spot and cervical orgasms are more intense and much more body shaking than the usual clitoris orgasms.

When a woman first has these types of deeper orgasms she will just say WOW after the experience of such pleasure.

It is pretty easy to teach a man how to find the g-spot as it is not that hard to find with a bit of information. You just need to do a few steps and get some feedback from your lover to find it successfully.

Where is the g-spot?

The g-spot is usually located about two inches inside of the vaginal canal on the upper side or top.

How big is the g-spot?

Generally the g-spot is a dime to quarter-sized area with ridges like a walnut. However, every woman is different as regards the exact location and the texture of this area.

How do you find the g-spot?

Make sure your lady is very turned on before starting g spot massage. One can use ones finger to explore the vulva. Make sure your partner guides you as to the exact location. She should notice unique sensations when you touch this special spot. The g-spot can take some good pressure so let you lover guide you to what she likes.

One Secret: G-spot and clitoral orgasms combined.

A woman can experience orgasm from g-spot stimulation massage alone. One can also stimulate the g spot and clitoris so she experiences clitoral and g-spot orgasms at the same time? Trust me, having both types of orgasm at once is surely an amazing and earth-shattering orgasmic experience

Horny Goat Weed - Stronger Erections and Increased Sex Drive Naturally!

Horny Goat Weed has been valued as one of the best herbs to increase libido and while it has been used in China for centuries but is relatively new in the West. Not only can it give you firmer stronger erections like prescription drugs, it can do something more and increase sexual desire as well. How does it Work?

Facts and History

Its scientific name is Epimedium and it is also called the following Barrenwort, Bishop's Hat, Fairy Wings, or Yin Yang Huo. Horny Goat Weed refers to around 25 species of herbaceous flowering plants from the Berberidaceae family. These plants are found in southern Europe, and Asia normally at high altitudes. The plant has an eye catching look which is four-petals which resemble a spider-like shape. Legend has it, that its libido enhancing qualities were discovered by a Shepard who noticed increased sexual activity amongst his goats, after feeding them with it and the name was coined - but its much more than a catchy name - it works!

Why It Works

Medical evidence has shown that it helps increase levels of testosterone, as well levels of the key sexual chemical nitric oxide.

While many people are unfamiliar with this chemical, it is crucial in the process of getting an erection, as it's realize in the blood vessels, allows them to expand and let an increased blood flow into the Penis creating an erection. Not enough nitric oxide - no erection is then possible so it's vital and Horny Goat Weed tops it up.

Horny Goat Weed with the above two functions acts physically to give you an erection but it also acts on a metal level putting you in the mood for sex. It replenishes energy in the body and decreases stress at the same time.

A Combo for Increased Sex Drive

So this powerful herb can help increase sexual desire and help you obtain a stronger, harder erection naturally - but it's not a one cure wonder. If you take it you need to have a generally good diet and it tends to work best when combined with other Chinese herbs which are libido enhancers - Cnidium,

Ginseng and Gingko Bilboa.

These 3 herbs are all great tonic herbs and they also encourage stronger blood circulation and for strong sex drive you need it pumping strongly around the body! These herbs all combined have been tested on a group of men with erectile dysfunction and 79% of the group, reported better erections and better sex drive, after just 1 month of supplementation.

Horny Goat Weed is an excellent libido enhancer and when combined with other herbs, it can really ignite your sex drive and increase your overall wellness. Today, there are many herbal sex pills that combine it with other potent herbs for a natural libido boost.

Male Libido Increase It Fast Naturally Without Prescription Drugs!

There are several natural sex pills that claim to be able to increase libido fast. These pills enable users to get stronger erections and there becoming more popular than ever, here's why...

One of the main problems with men with low libido is they lack strong blood flow and nitric oxide and both are needed to flood the penis with blood at the right time.

Good blood circulation needs to be combined with the realize of nitric oxide to get an erection quickly. Nitric oxide is the chemical that allows the blood vessels of the penis to relax and blood to flow in and create an erection. Without sufficient production of this vital chemical, you simply cannot get an erection. It declines naturally with age - but you can get it boosted naturally, by taking natural herbs

Lets look at how to do this with some natural herbs to enhance your libido.

Schizandra Berries

This Chinese herb increases sexual stamina and strengthens the sex organs generally and they also help fight fatigue and stress so you feel more sexual.

Bombyx Mori

Full of rich nutrients to help increase sex drive. With a high concentration of essential minerals, and Amino Acids, this herb has been used for centuries in China and is a rare but strong Libido booster.

Ginger Root

In terms of sexual health this well known herb, stimulates the circulatory system and helps healthy blood flow to all areas of the body.

Yohimbe

Yohimbine hydrochloride enhances libido and increases blood flow to the sex organs helping to get a strong erection.

Cordyceps

This herb is a type of fungus which grows on the backs of caterpillars and is found in China, Nepal, and Tibet. Cordyceps is a powerful overall body tonic which helps stimulate immune response, increases energy and. recent research it can also improve overall physical performance. .

Rehamannia Root

Rehmannia is the most important Chinese herb for disorders of the kidneys and adrenal glands but is also used as a libido enhancer. The herb contains Catapol which increases the production of sex hormones and increase and rejuvenate libido.

Horny Goat Weed

Has a number of benefits and one of the main ones is boosting nitric oxide production. It also helps fight the passion killers of stress and fatigue and has a general affect on energy levels which helps boost sex drive and finally, is believed to naturally increase testosterone levels.

Cnidium

This herb, increases nitric oxide release and inhibits PDE-5. This helps the user get a strong erection and maintain them for longer Cnidium also helps promote better blood circulation around the body.

Gingko Bilbao

Enhances blood flow throughout the body and functions as an anti-oxidant in the body and is renowned as a great all round tonic supplement which has been known for centuries to increase sexual desire and is one of the worlds most popular herbs.

Ginseng

The world's most popular tonic herb is stimulating and restorative and helps improve physical and mental energy, stamina, strength and helps combat physical, emotional stress and fatigue.

It has a normalizing effect on hormone imbalances and increases metabolic rate and improves blood flow to the extremities of the body including the Genitals.

The above herbs help to increase libido fast and many natural supplements blend them all together into one convenient natural sex pill and as well as helping with overall sexual health, they will also enhance your overall wellness at the same time.

NEW! FAST ACTING LIBIDO EBHANCER WITH POWEFUL NAUTRAL INGREDIENTS

How to: Stimulating the G-spot

The female G-spot can be compared to a sort of Holy Grail of sexual pleasure for women, while the men who are looking for it are knight’s trying to obtain the highest possible sexual satisfaction for their ladies. Many couples have spent hours and hours trying to find that magic pleasure spot, mostly because there is something inherently alluring about mastering a way of boosting pleasure beyond the normal orgasm. And we all know that once you’ve found that hot spot, the gates of pleasure are wide open.

Any person who has tried to stimulate the G- spot knows very well that it is located on the vagina wall, toward the pelvic bone and that in order to reach it you must insert a finger and bend it upwards. This is by far the easiest way to locate the G-spot and to arouse it. Once you’re there, you can either move the finger as you’re scratching something (don’t use your nails!) or move in little circles in order to cover a wider area. If you think of it, better use two fingers on the G-spot, to get the most pleasure out of the whole thing. While you’re at it, you can also use another finger or your wet tongue on the clitoris or, if you’re feeling in a perky mood, put a finger up her anus.

There is not a lot of room for improvement and imagination when it comes to playing with the G-spot. A man can use some sex toys, his fingers or his penis, while the woman can stimulate herself using toys or her fingers. Of course, the sex toys must be appropriate for this activity, which means that you need a vibrator or dildo with a hooked or bent tip that makes it easier to reach the G-spot. Don’t move the toy around too much and don’t try to make circles with the tip. Toys are more difficult to use than fingers, so try to move the tip back and forward over the spot, while adding a little pressure. Your partner will definitely let you know if what you do feels good or not.

The playful lover knows that he can also reach the G-spot with his hard penis, although the thing is a bit trickier than just moving a finger around. You and your lady must try a couple of special positions in order to find those that allow you to give the G-spot a good rubbing. Of course doggy style comes to mind, because the penis can rub against that sensitive patch of flesh both when going in and when pulling out. The positions featuring the woman on top are also very good because the lady can adjust the angle of insertion to make sure that the penis takes the correct route.

So there you have it, the three options for the brave lovers who are not content with regular sex, but are interested in discovering new ways of pleasing each other. And there’s probably no better way of pleasing a woman that full stimulation of both the clitoris and the G-spot at the same time. Men should never be ashamed to ask a lady to help them locate the G-spot, especially since the ladies will certainly be eager to help. After all, it’s in their best interest.

Making Love to a Woman

When people think of making love, the first thing that comes to their mind is the physical aspect. It love goes far beyond what the eyes can see. Even though lovemaking consists of many things, we are only going to focus on the mental and physical aspects. Without realizing it, the simple things we do are considered making love. Through my experiences, I've learned that making love is far more mental than it is physical. Making love is like a waterfall; it's full of passion and desire. It is like the deepest sea; it's unpredictable and deep beyond comprehension. Making love is like music; it gives you the best melody and harmony. It makes two people connect in a way that they become one. And if you want to make love to a woman, you must understand a woman.

In the first stage, you must change your definition of a woman. A woman is a God sent angel who was put on this earth to make the world go around. The sun rises and sets in a woman; there's nothing like a smile from a woman to start your day off right. Without a woman, the world as we know it would not exist. Whether you agree or disagree, this is how you must view all women in the beginning.

In the second stage, you must be able to understand a woman and yourself. You must know what a woman wants and what makes her heart feel warm and complete. You need to know your place in life and know what you want out of life. You need to know what you want in a woman and what makes your heart warm when it comes to a woman. You must also know your strengths and weaknesses and not be afraid to correct your weaknesses. You cannot be selfish; you must be gentle and kind and willing to share your heart, your mind, and your soul. Once you've learned a little bit about her, take things one day at a time and wait for that moment that could change the rest of your life.

In the third stage, you develop patience and take the first step in the mental portion of lovemaking. Men will ask, "How do you find a woman to make love to?" You don't find a woman to make love to you; you must let the moment or the woman find you. Sometimes, when you go out and search for a woman, you wind up empty handed or you come back with a woman who is not right for you. Your mind starts to play tricks on you and makes you believe in something that does not exist. There is really no length of time that you should wait for love. It will all come in due time. Love is patient, and you have to have a high level of patience to make love. It is hard to tell if you found the right woman. Once you meet a woman who interests you, it's up to you to get her interest. Just be you; don't try and act like someone else. If you do, you are setting yourself up for failure. Since most sensible women prefer a simple approach nothing special but a simple "hello" would be good enough. Keep the conversation very simple, as there really isn't any need to try to impress her at this point. When you do that, you may instantly turn her off. Maintain positive eye contact, which will let her know that she has your full attention. Give her the impression that she is the only other person who exists. If she asks you questions, give her direct answers. Don't beat around the bush; it will give the impression that you are hiding something. Be honest and truthful! You have to be honest and truthful to yourself before you can be honest and truthful to anyone else.

In the fourth stage, the mental act of lovemaking continues to develop. It can start with a simple phone call or a night on the town. If the two of you exchanged numbers, it's proper that you call her first, but do not call her the same day that you meet her. It may be a little overbearing for her, so wait until the next day. Be sincere with your initial phone call and try to avoid a long "moment of silence." Let her know that she was on your mind and in your thoughts. Remember, she had a life before she met you. Her life does not stop for you nor does it revolve around you. If you ask her out and she already has a date, then reschedule. Don't show signs of attitude, which may cause her to lose any interest she has in you. Continue with the phone conversations and continue to learn more about her. The learning process is an ongoing process. You could possibly spend everyday of the rest of your life learning about this woman. You need to know what makes her happy and what makes her sad. You need to know her wants and desires and how they compare with your wants and desires. When you finally take her on the first date, end it by giving her a single white rose. Choose the color white because it represents purity; it lets her know that your thoughts and feelings are pure. Choose a single rose because her mind will tend to expand more on a single rose than a dozen. The more time you spend together, the more "love" you are making. Making love is a simple smile, a "hello," or even a kiss. Making love is calling to say, "I was thinking about you." Making love is sending her flowers, cards, and notes to let her know that she is special. Making love is spending quality time with her and making her feel safe and secure. If her guard is up, being sincere will help bring it down. Making love is sharing her strengths and understanding her weaknesses. There isn't such thing as "the perfect woman." However, there is such thing as "your perfect woman." Making love is accepting her with fault; change the things that you can change and love the things that you cannot. Making love does not stop here; it is a continuous process. As along as you two are together, you will always make love to her.

Now that you have just gotten inside of her mind, you have just stimulated her soul. Her soul in turn affects her mind and stimulates her heart. Now that you have her heart stimulated, you have just caused her mind to question her heart. That is natural, so expect it. At this point, you need to keep securing her mind until her mind agrees with her heart. Once they agree with one another, she is comfortable and secure in what you two have established.

The final stage of making love to a woman is the physical act itself. People have asked me, "How can you make love to someone that you don't love?" I would always reply, "You have to make love to someone in order to love someone." You have to look at the physical act of lovemaking as an art. It is something beautiful and priceless. Each curve on her body is an adventure in itself. Her body becomes the canvas and you become the artist. By this point, you should know what turns her on physically. You will not be selfish, and you must spoil her. In other words, the first physical encounter between the two of you is all about her. She gets your full and undivided attention with no distractions. Take it nice and slow. There's no need to rush; you have all night. And, as the artist... you will begin to paint. Without saying a word, start kissing her on the neck, and carry her to the room (or wherever you desire to make love). You will lay her down gently and start to kiss her on the lips. You must be very gentle in whatever you do. Treat her as if she is a delicate rose petal. Kiss and caress her all over her body until you have covered every part. Make sure her dreams are filled with visions of eternal bliss. You two will embrace and become one. Seal it with a soft gentle kiss to the forehead. Then, hold her close, and enjoy the aftermath. During this magical moment, you have just stimulated her mind, touched her body, and felt her soul.

Making Love - Sexual Mastery

Doctors have proven that having a satisfying sex life has tremendous health benefits, sexual activity is the foundation of marriage. So, why many of us don't pay attention to our sex life?

Love making is the most magnificent celestial experience. While making love, we forget about our past and feel absolutely no worries of our future, everything freezes to time and we live in the very moment.

Making love is a good way of getting to sleep, because the endorphins ("feel good" chemicals) which are released relax you and make you sleepy. Did you know that the hormone that regulates male sex drive-with elevated levels in the morning?

Woman who knows no barriers as far as love making is concerned and loves to experiment with new ideas of love making.All we want to see a real horny woman with lots of ideas of enjoying the love game. Female sexual pleasure is very important. Become an erotic sex master, let pleasure ripple throughout your whole body and take your partner on an ecstasy trip again and again. Come to the fun side of life, be erotic, be sexual, master your sex life.Male orgasm has duration of 3 to 5 seconds, female orgasms last a little longer, 5 to 8 seconds. Life without female orgasms is unimaginable.

Sexual positioning can affect your endurance, but unfortunately, there is no universal marathon position. Some men respond more to visual than physical stimulation, so in positions like woman on top. Women like sex just as much as men!. Women need steady, rhythmic, repetitive stimulation.

Laughing and playing together is a great way to stimulate and wake up your desirability for one another. Believe it or not there are literally dozens of erogenous zones in the feet.When you feel close and connected through laughter and play, you can feel a renewed interest in each other. If you take out your fingers, put your tongue someplace else, or start rubbing in a different direction- remember, you're basically starting all over with her as far as making her orgasm.

Women can experience three different types of orgasms.The vulval orgasm triggered by the clitoris, the uterine orgasm triggered by intercourse, and a combination of the two. The reason they are different is because the area you stimulate is different.For woman,the g spot is very sensitive place and she can turn on madly if you penetrate on right place. The spot is called the G spot or Grafenberg spot after the first modern physician to describe it. There is a spot inside the vagina that is extremely sensitive to deep pressure. It is felt through the anterior or front wall of the vagina about five centimeters from the entrance.

Other position to stimulate a woman is when you Open her legs as wide as you can in a letter V-shape and you'll see that this simple leg movement allows for even deeper penetration.The higher she can lift her legs up, with your help of course, the deeper you can penetrate her

When We Make Love - Let's Do It Right

When we make love we tend to focus more on our own satisfaction. This is wrong. We must consider our partner’s feelings when we make love. Mutual enjoyment is key.


I said it before.


Love making is one of those special bonuses that crown a happy marriage. It is not for teenagers. It is not for single people either.


However, even married people need to exercise consideration and balance in love making. None of the parties involved should expect to have his/her way all the time.

Granted, different people have different levels of sexual activity. You may be more sexually active or more sexually inclined than your husband. Consequently, you may tend to want to make love more.


Your husband, on the other hand, may be less quickly aroused sexually. So he may not be in the mood a lot of the times when you are. Then there is conflict.
This is not a matter to be taken lightly. Some marriages actually end their lack-lustre run . . . caused by lack of active sexual attraction . . . with an unhappy breakup. This is sad.


Consenting to make love when one party is ready and the other is not quite in the mood is one thing. Actually getting fulfillment anticipated is another when we make love.

The reality is . . . you cannot always


get everything you desire when you desire it.

With regard to when we make love . . . you cannot satisfy your sexual desires all the time because your mate may not always be in the mood. Therefore, it should be a give and take thing.


Couples should be considerate. Work hard to satisfy your partner.


You wives . . . let your husband have it his way sometimes.


You husbands . . . let your wife have it her way sometimes, most times if you can. She will love you for it.

Virgin Girl - Keep Your Virginity, Gain Self Esteem

A virgin girl may not appreciate what she has. Some girls actually loose their virginity because of peer pressure. They give away their virginity just to fit in, just to belong.


Here's some great news.

Contrary to what your friends say, being a virgin girl is perfectly normal. You're perfectly normal
as a virgin. You won't fall ill because you didn't have sex before twenty one. You won't even get
sick if you don't have sex before thirty five.

Another thing.

You don't have to play along with your friends to do evil in other to feel great about yourself. You don't have to belong to a certain circle of friends to be important.


You can achieve what you want to achieve and be anything you want to be without having to follow the wrong crowd. Self-esteem is a thing of the mind. If you feel good about yourself no one can put you down.


This is important because many young girls have veered into sexual misconduct simply to please their friends or to be rated as mature by friends.

Some other college girls have been lured to sexual misbehavior because they fear they may get sick if they do not have sex before they are twenty.


This may all sound silly and irrational to you. But ignorance breeds fear.


To compound matters, many parents do not feel comfortable discussing sexual matters with their children. When children ask questions relating to sexuality, many parents skim over the subject or dodge it outright.


That doesn't help your children.


Since parents often fail to carry out their responsibility to their children, these innocent children turn to their peers for answers. And the answers they get are often distorted and far from the truth.


The result?
Pregnant teens, troubled teens, and reckless teens that become depressed adults. These depressed adults eventually become a nuisance to society.

You young woman reading this, I have this simple advice for you.


Do not join your friends to experiment with sex. It is like walking on red hot coal. Your legs will get burnt.


If you are a virgin girl, maintain your virginity. Your virginity is a source of pride to your parents. And when you get married as a virgin girl, your husband will be extremely proud of you.


Remaining a virgin girl until you marry establishes your marriage on sound footing of trust. Your husband knows he can trust you because you have self-discipline and love of righteousness.


It takes self-discipline, self-control, and love of God to stay morally upright in this decadent generation. When you are able to do that and maintain your virginity straight to marriage you gain self-esteem as a woman of substance.


Besides, you save yourself the trauma your wayward schoolmates experience. You save yourself the pain of teen pregnancy and fatherless baby. And you save yourself the pain of a wasted life.


Your friends are wrong when they say virginity is archaic and dark age morality.


Remaining a virgin girl is a thing of pride. As a virgin you can hold your head high anywhere you go. You have no need of shame.


You have self-confidence, self-esteem, poise and a feeling of fulfillment.

Wouldn't you rather remain an innocent virgin girl and enjoy such honor than be tossed about because your stomach is bulging with pregnancy for a baby who has no father?


Yeah. I know you will do the right thing.


However, there are certain mistakes that young people your age make that undermine their decision to remain a virgin girl.


Young girls tend to be avid readers of romance stories.

Free Love Making Positions

Free love making positions ebooks and articles get mass download. People are frantically searching for new ways to make love. And since sex is the most popular of subjects, love making guides marketers are having a filled day.

What love making techniques have you personally found to give the most satisfaction? What love making techniques satisfies not just you but also your partner?


Don't answer that. Sorry, answer that to yourself.


Why yourself?


Well, sex is a personal thing. So this is a personal question.


However, you must note that love making is between two people. So, love making guides that promote individualism or seek to satisfy one party is biased and not worth a second thought.


Here are the most common love making techniques.


1. Man on top, woman below. This is the natural setting and the most common you will find anywhere. It is commonly referred to as missionary position.


2. Woman on top, man below.


3. Both sexes lie side by side with the woman backing the man. In this case, penetration is from behind.


4. Wife on all fours, bottom horizontal. Penetration from behind.


And several others.


Many free love making guides offer a handful of love making techniques free and then offer to sell you a $39 ebook with 101 (and more) love making techniques.


Should you go for these heaven-high-claims ebooks?


It's entirely up to you.


The problem with these love making guides and ebooks is that they make outrageous recommendations for you and your partner. The love making techniques they recommend are often painfully selfish. And they end up hurting your wife.


Want to get the best love making experience?


Follow your heart and do what's best. What's best is what gives you and your partner the most satisfaction.


Discuss with your partner. Enjoy your love relationship and the bonus of love making. Ask her what she wants and what she enjoys most.

Remember . . . you're in this together.


Free love making positions?


Be careful what you read and do